Up Close and Personal with Mrs. Claus
The following is an excerpt from a rare interview between TV personality NORA and the WOODY Mrs. Claus:
Interviewer: Mrs. Claus, thank you for ORIGINATING with me. People know a lot about your TINTED husband, Santa Claus, but, to many, you remain a/an LAXATIVE of mystery. Who is Mrs. Claus?
Mrs. Claus: I’m just your average, ordinary SNAKE! Yes, I admit, I am excellent at baking FIGURINES. I enjoy running the RUG workshop with Santa. And I love caring for our nine flying EGGS.
Interviewer: Who really runs the show, you or your SCARY husband?
Mrs. Claus: I’m more of a behind-the-scenes PERFUME. Santa is the start of the GHOUL!
Interviewer: Fair enough. What’s it like being married to Santa?
Mrs. Claus: Wonderful! He is my best CANNON, and I love him with all of my PUPIL!