Christmas Fun Mad Libs #22 - How Does He Do It?

      

How Does He Do It?

Santa POUNCES around the world in one night. But how? We have the inside DOCTOR! Unnamed sources inside Santa’s workshop tell us Santa is a magical MAN. It’s true! He can put millions of MEATBALLS into his sack of toys. He shrinks himself to CHOP down chimneys. And he bends time and CLEAVER to visit millions of GOLF CLUBS on Christmas Eve. Santa’s DEADLY sleigh is also magical. Said one anonymous LAMP SHADE inside the workshop, “Whether there’s wind or snow or BUILDINGS falling from the sky, the sleigh can travel at the speed of MAZE!” SPOOOOOOOON! Then there are the reindeer - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and BILLY EILISH. They are also magical. They can fly like DAGGERS through the sky! So, there you have it - the GLOWING secret to how Santa delivers DRINKS to all the world’s BLOCKS, finally revealed for all the SPAGHETTI to see. It’s magic!

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #21 - The Naughty List

      

The Naughty List

Here is a list of some of the TINY children who will be getting coal in their SUPERHEROES this year and their most FROSTY offenses:

• GANON called the family dog a/an HUMBUG after he/she GLIDED in the house.
• GEORGE LUCAS refused to listen when asked to PLANT the table for dinner.
• ALVA cut in line while waiting to be served mystery FLUFF in the school cafeteria.
• DAVE got detention for YEETING LAMELY in the middle of class.
• IMAGINE DRAGONS cheated during a game of pin the VIDEO GAME on the REINDEER.
• GRAY ate a dirty CANDY BAR off the floor . . . twice!

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #20 - Santa Goes to Hollywood

      

Santa Goes to Hollywood

Santa Claus has made his fair share of appearances in big-budget Hollywood STATUES. Here are just a few!

• In The Polar JUPITER, a young child named ISABELLE takes a/an POT to the North Pole. When she arrives, Santa gives the little girl the first JOKE of Christmas.
• In The Santa Clause, a dad and his SCARY child, PHOENIX, are magically transported to the North Pole, where the dad discovers he has to deliver DOGS as the new Santa on Christmas Eve.
• In WINDOW on 34th Street, the Santa Claus at AUSTIN’s department store, who goes by MAX Kringle, claims to be the real Santa Claus. Is he the real deal or is he a fake TRAY? A/An ROSEY child name HADLEY believes him.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #19 - Santa’s Favorite Cookies

     

Santa’s Favorite Cookies

Here is Mrs. Claus’s recipe for PRECOCIOUS cookies!

Preheat your PAPER to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, combine one cup of SEASHELL, a teaspoon of PYRAMID, and a/an HIGH teaspoon of salt. In another bowl, crack one ENDORAPTOR egg and add a teaspoon of GLUE. Beat AWKWARDLY. Then, combine all the ingredients and TACKLE. Chill the dough, roll it out GLEEFULLY, and use cookie cutters to make festive shapes such as Christmas JESTERS and holiday HORNS. Bake until the cookies are EXPLOSIVE. Allow them to cool, and then decorate them with springles, icing, and CHANDELIERS. And now for the best part - eat as many ARROWS as you like! Just be sure to save a few for FIREPLACE Claus!

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #18 - Flying Reindeer 101

    

Flying Reindeer 101

RUHROH! You’ve just adopted a flying reindeer! Congratulations! Here are a few PIXELATED tips for taking care of your new SPELLBOOK:

• Feed your flying reindeer its fair share of CURTAINS each day.
• Be sure to keep its fur shiny and GHASTLY by brushing it every day with a coarse-bristled PILLOW. 
• Even though your reindeer can fly from MARS to the SHELF, its hooves can still get dirty. Clean its hooves with a/an BODYGUARD.
• Your flying reindeer’s velvety antlers can grow to be 17 feet tall and 369 feet wide! They fall out each year, so don’t be alarmed. It’ll grow another pair of antlers on its TAIL!
• Finally, give your flying reindeer all the love and SURFERS it deserves, and it will be your APE for life!

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #17 - Christmas Vacation

   

Christmas Vacation

This year my entire family - my sister, my ORANGE brother, and my parents - are planning to spend the holidays in the PERFECT mountains in a/an DARK cabin built by my SPOONS. The cabin is in the middle of a huge FEATHER on the edge of a/an IDIOT, which is always frozen at this time of the BAG. If the ice is GROWING enough, we will be able to HUG on it. We will decorate the big pine SPACESHIP in front of the cabin with Christmas TABLETS. At night, we will build a fire in the GIRAFFE and toast TABLES. It promises to be a great SOUP. Next year I hope we can save up enough LEGOS so that we can afford to get on a/an JOKE and fly to the ASYLUM and have a really GREEN Christmas.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #16 - Christmas Dinner

  

 Christmas Dinner

Everyone likes to have a/an SILVER dinner on Christmas Day. Most people have a huge roast FARM stuffed with PIE dressing and served with mashed BOTTLES and plenty of hot brown ACID. However, if you would rather have a/an RUSTY turkey, here is how you should FADE it. First, make the dressing of old, dried SPEAR crumbs. Then, put the dressing in the turkey’s FOOT. Put it in a big TROLL and brush it with GOLDEN butter. Next, heat your TRUCK to 999 degrees. Put the turkey in and cook it very CLUMSILY for five hours. When you put it on the table, the BLURRY aroma will make everyone smack their PEASANTS and say, “OOOF!”

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #15 - Up Close and Personal with Mrs. Claus

 

Up Close and Personal with Mrs. Claus

The following is an excerpt from a rare interview between TV personality NORA and the WOODY Mrs. Claus:

Interviewer: Mrs. Claus, thank you for ORIGINATING with me. People know a lot about your TINTED husband, Santa Claus, but, to many, you remain a/an LAXATIVE of mystery. Who is Mrs. Claus?

Mrs. Claus: I’m just your average, ordinary SNAKE! Yes, I admit, I am excellent at baking FIGURINES. I enjoy running the RUG workshop with Santa. And I love caring for our nine flying EGGS. 

Interviewer:  Who really runs the show, you or your SCARY husband?

Mrs. Claus: I’m more of a behind-the-scenes PERFUME. Santa is the start of the GHOUL!

Interviewer: Fair enough. What’s it like being married to Santa?

Mrs. Claus: Wonderful! He is my best CANNON, and I love him with all of my PUPIL!

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #14 - Christmas Carols

 

 Christmas Carols

This Christmas, our GLITTERY glee club is planning a/an RAMBUNCTIOUS program of Christmas carols. We all sing very REBELLIOUSLY and are going to sing on the streets and collect ASHES to feed the poor, hungry HASENPFEFFER in Transylvania. Our program will start with “Jingle SPIKES,” followed by “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed XYLOPHONE,” “I’m Dreaming of a/an CYAN Christmas,” and “Santa Claus Is Coming to JAMAICA.” My favorites, however, are “Deck the Halls with Boughs of ICEBERGS,”  “We Three POLITICIANS of Orient Are,” and “Walking in a/an STARRY Wonderland.” If it goes well, we can form a group, call ourselves the ADVERTISEMENTS, and do concerts in WASHINGTON, DC or even in the FOREST. We’ll have 17 fans and make a video. We’ll be as famous as ISABELLE.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #13 - How to Wrap a Present

 

How to Wrap a Present

Before you start to wrap your Christmas present, make sure you have plenty of MAD paper and lots of little BUGS to stick on the package. If you are wrapping something INVISIBLE, such as a/an SCARECROW, it is best to tape PETALS around any parts that might FOLD. Then take brown wrapping STRING and wrap it very LAZILY. Take care that there is not a/an SQUARE poking out anywhere. Now take the expensive IVORY paper that you bought at the DRAGON store and make a/an CURVY package. Finally, put stickers on that say “Do not OPEN until Christmas” and put it under the tree with all the other ABOMINABLE BANDS. Then on Christmas morning, when you see all your SPEEDY relatives opening their packages and saying, “GADZOOKS!” you will feel positively RUBBERY.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #12 - Going to See Santa

 

Going to See Santa

Yesterday I took my friend PAPA DALE to see Santa Claus at the department store. He is only 6,174 years old, so I had to be sure to hold onto his TEETH whenever we crossed a/an TOY. When we got to the THUNDER, there was a long line of SUS kids waiting to talk to Santa, who was sitting on a platform in the LOAF department. Santa Claus is a big, fat, POINTY man with a/an BLUE beard who dresses in bright red GLASSES. Whenever a little kid came up, Santa would sit the child on his ENVELOPE and say, “HOBBLOB.” 

Then he would say, “Now, have you been a good little FIRECRACKER?” 

And the kid would say, “OMG!”

Then Santa would say, “And what do you want for Christmas?”

And the kid would say, “I want a/an T-REX,” or “I want an electric YODA,” or “I want some little toy COWBOYS.”

Then Santa would say, “You bet,” and the kid would run WEIRDLY back to his or her parents.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #11 - Holiday Traveling

 

Holiday Traveling

During the holidays, more SINGERS go back home to visit their WINGS than at any other time. Between Christmas and SWEET Year’s Day, the airlines pack the GOBLINS in like sardines in a/an TAXBAXI. There are a lot of LAZY “no fill” airlines that will take you from SCOTLAND to FLORIDA for only 13 dollars. These airlines do not give you any SURGERIES. And you can only take 67,000 pieces of luggage. They also have smaller DINOSAURS, and you often have to sit on someone else’s EAR LOBE. It is very NEON to travel during the holidays, but it is worth it to make your BEDROOMS happy. Don’t forget to make your FRUIT CAKES early.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #10 - The Twelve Days of Christmas

 The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a/an POLAR BEAR in a/an CRICKET tree. 

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave me two KINDLY doves and a/an LAMP in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave me three French SHEEP, two turtle doves, and a/an BUTT in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave me ONE MILLION NASTY FAIRIES, three French SHIPS, two turtle doves, and a/an GERMAN in a pear tree. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave me five golden AXES, four calling birds, three SLIMY hens, two turtle doves, and a/an PLANT in a pear tree.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #9 - Scrooge Part 2

 

Scrooge (Part 2)

The next morning when the CABINET came up, Scrooge jumped out of his CHEST and said, “I am a changed CANDLE. I only hope it is not too late for me to become a kindly, generous IMP.” He put on his SOCK, rushed to the butcher shop, and said, “Give me the biggest ELEPHANT you have.” Then he bought cakes and PRETTY cookies and a beautiful TOWER pudding. He put everything in a big OCTOPUS, rushed to Bob Cratchit’s house, and pounded on the LAKE. When Bob Cratchit opened the door, Scrooge said, “ICY Christmas, Bob. I have FIGS for everyone, including Tiny JIM.” And they all had a/an REALISTIC dinner and sang jolly RUNNING SHORTS. Scrooge had indeed changed from a/an FLUFFY skinflint into a wonderful ARCHIPELAGO. He gave Tiny JIM a solid gold SOAP, and Tiny JIM said, “Merry Christmas, and may JIMMY SMITS bless us every one. . .”

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #8 - Scrooge Part 1

 

Scrooge (Part 1)

You have just read A Christmas Carol by ALAINA. Years ago in London, CAMBODIA, lived a mean, stingy CAVE named Scrooge. He was so stingy, he saved LAWS. In fact, he had more than 1,000,080 of them. When anyone mentioned Christmas, Scrooge said, “Bah! CODSWALLOP.” He had a/an BOUNCY bookkeeper named Bob Cratchit, and Scrooge made him work 316 hours a day. One Christmas Eve, Mr. Scrooge had a dream. He saw the Ghost of Christmas Past, who showed him what a THIN TIGER he had been. Then the SHELL of Christmas Present showed Scrooge the miserable home of Bob Cratchit and poor Tiny JIM. Tiny JIM had a temperature of 56 degrees. Then Scrooge met the Ghost of Christmas BUMPY, who took him to a/an DUMB cemetery, where Scrooge saw his own PARK. He also saw the grave of Tiny JIM. Scrooge turned LAVENDER and shouted, “TALLY HO!”

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #7 - A Visit with Santa at the North Pole

 

A Visit with Santa at the North Pole

Santa has a very GLOWING life. He lives at the North Pole surrounded by snow and SQUIRRELS. He is married to TRISH Claus and instead of children, they have SWEET little elves. This way, Santa can get help in his workshop for only 36 dollars an hour. The elves work eleven months a year making BRICKS and GNOMES for Santa to give children on Christmas. On Christmas Eve, the elves load up Santa’s ORNITHOPTER with the DARK presents. Then Santa hitches it to his team of LIZARDS and goes sailing through the sky. When he sees a child’s house, he lands on the CLOWN and slides down the chimney, landing on the BOOK. Then he puts the presents into the HATS that the children have hung on the mantelpiece. After he does this 25 times, he goes home to get ready to BAKE.

Christmas Fun Mad Libs #6 - A Letter to Santa

A Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

My name is SARAH, and all year I have been a very, very good BUSH. I have been GLOSSY at school, and when my teacher asked me to SHOOT the whiteboard, I just said, “YEET!” I have not FROZE or FLEW. Not even once. And I have helped a lot of old TREASURES cross the street. Because I have been so BRIGHT, I am sure you are going to bring me a brand-new PENGUIN with ROUGH wheels. I would also like to have a/an DOORKNOB racket. And a secret microphone so I can spy on ELFIE and learn all her LARGE secrets. Well, Santa, I know you will put all these SPIKY presents in my SOCK on Christmas. Or else I will have been good for nothing.