Sunday, November 1, 2020

Desperately Seeking Joy #8


Last night was an absolute nightmare. I didn't have my sleep aid when I went to bed. The wind was gusting up to 45mph and it was loud and, at times, concerning. So my sleep wasn't what I had hoped it would be and then add in the clocks changing and I was a mess when I got up.

Today I started my new health regime. Making sure my fasting extended its hours (fasting isn't going to work well for me, but we'll try something). I took an iron supplement with my medication and multi-vitamin and then also took my apple cider vinegar gummies. I drank a partial can of Sugar-Free RockStar. Then I settled in to see if I was more inspired than on a normal day.
  • Worked on and completed Halloween entry.
  • Gathered and packed up Halloween Decorations.
  • Recovered outdoor decorations. Wind blew some other places. One of them was damaged, but we think someone damaged them, not wind damaged. 
  • Meeting 250 steps per hour starting at 7AM.
  • Finished watching Critical Role Episode 58 and started watching Episode 59.
  • Adjusted subscription orders on Amazon.
  • Added items to my daughter's Amazon Wishlist.
And then things went downhill. A friend of my mom's decided that she should tell me to go down to see her immediately. My mom was having some hard days and I knew, but I had my own doctor's appointments that kept me up at my home for the weekend. I mean it's about a 2 hour drive to my mom's and it's a taxing trip. Anyways. I've been in contact daily with my mom, offering what I can for support, but I couldn't physically be with her at that time. I was home Thursday to regroup, Friday I had blood tests, Saturday was Halloween! But the accusation that I'm not doing the best that I can for my mom, which is what it really was underneath, sent me into a downward spiral of feeling like a failure and it took all day to pull back out of it. Just in time to go to bed. So today was not a "joy" day, even though I had small moments of "joy." 

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