Funko 13 Day Spooky Countdown - Day 4

 

Day 4: Pennywise Holding a Beaver Hat (It)

Funko 13 Day Spooky Countdown - Day 3

 

Day 3: Jack Torrance

Funko 13 Day Spooky Countdown - Day 2

Day 2: Beetlejuice Bride Lydia Deetz

Funko 13 Day Spooky Countdown - Day 1

Day 1: Freddy Krueger

Desperately Seeking Joy #6

 

Every time I get an email from a politician, I think of that exchange in Clue:

Cop: What's going on around here? And why would you lock me in? And why are you receiving phone calls from J. Edgar Hoover?

Wadsworth: J. Edgar Hoover?

Cop: That's right! The head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation!

Colonel Mustard: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?

Wadsworth: I don't know, he's on everybody else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?

It just makes me laugh inside. This was brought up, because in my trash email there was an email from Pete Buttigeig (the campaign). A good laugh to start the day.

The majority of the morning was spent muddling. I paced excessively. I hemmed and hawed over what to do with myself. I did some small tasks requested of me by various people and did a bunch of shopping for my mom. But then... as I was sitting on the couch just flipping through the lists of recommendations or coming soons on Netflix... I saw it...

If you haven't read Dash and Lily's Book of Dares and it's sequel, The Twelve Days of Dash & Lily, and you love quirky romantic stuff around the holidays... oh my goodness... The books are edgy and have language and sexual references and can be a bit over-the-top with the Dash sections of the book, but they end just so very sweetly. I do so love them. So when I saw this trailer, I wasn't sure what to think... if I was excited that they made it into a Netflix series or if I was devastated that they toyed with the idea of turning it into a series that will probably be canceled and will screw up all the beautiful images of romance that I have in my head. I admit... I cried. I couldn't figure out if it was from happiness or sadness, but I am excited.

Before settling in for a game to help exercise my broken mind, we had to run up to my daughter's school and pick up her book club book. Then we also swung by the grocery store for a few items and picked up lunch at Kwik Trip. They had a new pizza called the Oktoberfest pizza. It had brats and onions and peppers and cheddar cheese on it.  It was pretty ok.

Once we were settled again, I finally got to play a game. I can't tell you the last time I played a board game, it has been such a long time. But I pulled out a game that was a familiar and yet new: Ticket to Ride: United Kingdom. 

Due to my head being so very off, I knew I wasn't going to win this game. But I had fun trying. We were within 4 points of each other. We discussed the different aspects of the game that caused that four point difference and it was interesting enough.

It was then time to work with my daughter on her Halloween One-Shot character. My husband walked her through the process. My daughter was having an absolute ball. She chose to be a Kobold Rogue/Arcane Trickster named StarShadow.

It is going to be a fun little adventures. A Halfling Wizard, Halfling Rogue, Kobold Rogue, and a Yuan-ti Pureblood Druid. I swear... we make the strangest groups of people. 

The night wrapped up with a quick movie that we rented for cheap on Amazon Prime Day. You Should Have Left was a movie that was on my list for a while and is a Blumhouse Production. To mean that's more of a hit than a miss, but you can't always be sure. 

It wasn't a horrible movie. It kept us guessing, but it also had those moments where you weren't, "Clearly this isn't working and you 'should have left.'" Hahaha! But it raises some interesting questions about the supernatural. The movie uses some typical American Gothic tropes and for this film... location is important. Sadly, it leaves some problems  with the believability factor that is supposed to hook you and the twist at the end, for us, was an obvious surprise. 

I'm glad I rented it and didn't buy it, because it isn't one of those supernatural films that makes me want to watch it again to catch more details. The film takes its time to make sure you absorb the details in the same way the characters do. But it was interesting enough for a suspense film for the evening.

Today was littered with joyful moments, but it was a good bit of a muddle and feeling indecisive about so many things. I just hope tomorrow is better.

Desperately Seeking Joy #5

 

This morning started off rough. Turns out the change in my medication now causes me to become dizzy and nauseous if I don't eat something with the medicine. I'm used to not really eating much in the morning. Since that was the case, I had to wake my husband up to help me with a bite of breakfast, because the whole world was spinning.

Then it was just watching some television and getting a few chores done around the house.

I had some slips, but I made it through. 

Oh! I got my iggle Halloween cards  mailed AND got the package for my iggle swap done. I wish I had taken a picture before I sealed it up, but oh well. And we made grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner. Can I just say that grilled cheese is a stressful dish for me! As easy as it is, it is sooooo easy to burn. Drives me nuts! Now I feel determined to master it, but I don't feel like watching Chef again. Eh...

So my day had little glimpses of joy, but at least I stayed out of the darkness.

Desperately Seeking Joy #4

 

Today didn't start out the best. It's been an uphill battle to be happy, but most importantly to find the energy. The weather is a dreary, rainy, windy fall day. One of my medications just upped its doze to a full pill. I really wanted to have some caffeine, but apparently caffeine isn't recommended with my current medication. 

After getting myself out of bed, I went downstairs and made some homemade biscuits and gravy for my husband for breakfast. My daughter enjoyed the biscuits with apple jelly. 

Then I had an idea to make a new fleece poncho for lounging and my husband came with me out to JoAnn Fabrics. I bought some Marvel fleece and blue fleece for the other side. I don't know if I'm going to attempt a hood again or not. I made a Star Wars one a few years ago, which I still love, but during a visit from the in-laws, the hood was accidentally ripped off and I never fixed it. I don't consider myself a very craft person, even though I've got lots of craft stuff. 

While we were there, I also purchased a bunch of cute halloween craft packs for my daughter and to gift in a Halloween Box to an iggle or two. 

Then we were able to order from China One and get a lunch combo plate, which I was so excited about. And I went to Walgreens and got some cards for the iggle card swap. Earlier today I expressed being sad that I missed the card swap and a bunch of my iggle-angels reached out to me. So it was exciting to get the messages while I was out and could get some fun things and cards for them. 

Also at Walgreens were these Apple Pie Kit Kats! Nummy!

When we arrived home, I was so excited about a pair of sock of I bought at JAF that I got myself and my daughter registered for the Festival Turkey Trot - Home Edition! So we'll be Turkey Trotting from home. I'm assuming we'll be at my mom's this year, so we'll trot around her lake path twice with the dog. 

Somewhere around 2PM, I decided I was tired of feel tired, so I drank my SF-Rock Star and, oh my goodness, within an hour I was feeling so much better and capable of doing things!

My husband finally asked our friend about a Halloween One-Shot for D&D and he agreed. Then we all started making characters.  My character's name is Stash and they are a halfling rogue.

Friend Jim also made a halfling wizard named Jilri Whispermouse, but my husband just had to be crazy weird and made a Human Yuan-Ti named Bazhlissh who is also good! WHAT! I'll allow it. If he's having fun, so be it. My daughter, though, will have to wait to make her character. She was busy working on perler beads and she still needs to be coached and supported while making her characters.

Because I was super charged, I was doing all sorts of things. I was working on the Halloween cards I was going to swap with my iggles. I decided to find a print-and-play game to put into the cards. So I'm include Dixit in their cards. I'm so excited about it!

Then I was browse shopping on Etsy. I was actually looking at my calendar and wanting to get myself organized again. It's just so hard, because it reminds me of work and I'm trying to distance myself from that.

After some browsing and working, I called my mom to see if she needed anything. Apparently her dishwasher now broke. This woman has troubles everyday with something somewhere breaking or needing to be fixed. It's just so weird. So she was telling me about that, but also that the "high" of the chemo drugs is wearing off and she's in pain. I told her I'd be down soon and to keep me posted. So I'll be calling tomorrow. She did, though, get the mini-electric frying pan I sent her! She loved it.

Finally, I started to lose a little pep. I was determined to find my copy of Duma Key by Stephen King. My husband insisted that I didn't have a copy and I was looking to buy one, but the paperback was so expensive! I looked at my library, but they'd have to request it from a different library. So I looked at some other books. Thought I'd try reading The Outsider by Stephen King again, especially after I saw Let it Bleed by Stephen King had a short story sequel to the book. I had resigned myself to let Duma Key go, until I checked the cabinet next to our bed and sure enough... there sat the copy I bought when I was in Edinburgh. Even had the pounds sterling amount on the back. I just didn't realize how thick the book was, but I was being pulled to read it again. So I got out my book light and started reading.  I had fallen out of reading a few years into being a teacher. There just wasn't much joy in it for me. So reading this book will hopefully help pull me out of wherever my mind has gone.

Overall, it was a good day. I had my moments of sadness and regret, but I had no panic attacks and could actually do things. It took enormous amounts of effort to do those things, but I did them.

Desperately Seeking Joy #3

 

I started the day off with some breakfast that the family loved. It was Orange Cinnamon Rolls from the Pillsbury can. It's one of those childhood throwbacks that reminds me of "home." 

I tried to watch some movies and things. I even baked an apple dump cake, but it was really difficult to feel a radiating happiness.

Being on the internet didn't help, because there are just too many triggers to my sadness. It could be people posting their own happiness everywhere, because that's what we've been told should only be out in the universe. Or they post what they THINK is inspirational messages, but really to someone who is struggling, it is not inspirational. Instead those messages make me feel like a failure, because of what I'm going through. It is said that we CHOOSE to think positively. I will never agree with that. I don't want these sad and debilitating thoughts all day. I seek to find the positive. I seek to find the distraction. But sometimes people don't get to choose. We have to battle the darkness.

Desperately Seeking Joy #2

 

Today I woke up with the goal of trying to keep busy and do things that have previously made me happy in the past.

First, I made breakfast. I made Breakfast Ramen for my husband. It's eggs, bacon, cheese, and Ramen noodles. It's a really heavy dish, but at least I got to be creative in the kitchen again. Here's a picture of the leftovers.

Then I cleaned up and lit my new favorite candle Hot Cocoa and Scream. And they're on sale, so I went online and bought myself three of them.  

Another way I've been working to keep my mind off of things today is I left off a TV station called FreeForm. They're doing 31 Days of Halloween movies. When I woke up this morning The Mummy  was on, so when I went downstairs, I kept the movie on and the sequel followed. While I'm not solely invested in sitting and intently watching, having on a movie I know has been helpful for when I do sit down and am not sure what to do with myself.

During that time I unloaded some of the bags we brought back from my moms and put things in a properly place. I tried to clean up most of the counter space and I had my daughter try on some new clothes that my mom sent home with us. They looked cute enough. I just hope she wears them.

Then I started planning some things to do with the family. We have some movies to watch tonight with my daughter, so I took a tin of our premade southern biscuits dough and made some Cinnamon Apple Biscuits. 

I broke out some of my Halloween stuff, such as my Halloween Tumblers and I arranged my Funkos while watching the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror marathon on FreeForm.

The other day I ordered the Ghostbusters games and they arrived today! I don't know when I'll get to play them, but I'm excited to have them.

After some cleaning and geeking out over the games, I finally called it. It was family movie night time. We were going to watch Sleepy Hollow and Poltergeist. So we got our warm, apple cider ready and heated up the buns and set in to watching the movies. We've been trying to pick movies to share with our daughter. Halloween movies are shockingly hard, because they're either cheesy kid movies or they're more geared towards adults. But we have a selection that we're sharing with her to keep us all in the Halloween spirit. FreeForm has been really helpful with that as well.

I also made popcorn, which the family loves and we also ordered a basic pizza from our local pizza shop. It just felt like a movie night that way.

So today was mildly successful at keeping me out of the dark and reminding me of the things that make me happy. Let's hope I can keep moving forward with those bits of joy littering my day and keeping the dark at bay.

Desperately Seeking Joy #1

The Pandemic has hit many of us very hard and it has affected our mental health. Some more than others. I am one of those people who already started out with unstable mental health and now I am in the pit of absolute despair. I am not at liberty to go into the details of the history of this, but suffice to say that I am struggling to find any kind of joy in my life. Things that once made me happy are beyond what I am capable of doing, accessing, or participating in. 

There are some big changes coming up in my life, but I realize that in order to handle those changes, I am going to have to start with changing me. Which is why I've made the decision to actively search for the things that bring me joy, because I miss them. And maybe once I've found them, then I can start to be more mindful about my own happiness and how I can take care of myself. 

The holiday seasons can be a very dangerous time for finding joy, because we are reminded of so much of the bad. I, though, am going to try to find the joy through the holidays and what I used to love more than anything... theme. I love "theme" and calendars and all sorts of things like that. So tomorrow I am going to dive in.