Seeking "joy" is hard. I'm at the point with this one particular medication where I am feeling incredibly muddled and cloudy. You know how Hollywood depicts mental institutions? I get it now. Everyone just stare off or shuffle around aimlessly.
But I found if I ingest some caffeine it helps to take that muddled edge off. I just have to find the right source and the right amount. Too much causes the anxiety to flare up. Too little... well... is too little.
I am trying to be activity driven. I make a list of the things that need to get done and I do one thing, then take a break and then do another. It worked really well when we were at my mom's house. She throws out tasks at breakneck speeds and I get them written down and then I slowly work to accomplish them.
Today, though I started with some tasks to get the day rolling:
- Arranged a Zoom meeting for my mom with my brother.
- Made an appointment for my own blood draws for lab tests.
- Cooked breakfast for the family.
- Did the dishes from breakfast.
- Folded the bed sheets that were in the dryer.
- Ran a load of towels and blankets.
- Watched 40 minutes of Critical Role: Campaign 2 - Episode 58.
- Fed the dogs and let them out and other animal care needs.
- Got dressed in fresh clothes for the day.
- Helped with getting recycles out.
- Made a grocery list and scheduled our grocery contactless pickup.
- Ordered some cleaning supplies on Amazon.
- Finished my blog entry about part one of our Halloween One-Shot.
- Logged my fasting and my food intake.
- Reviewed some nifty stickers for my calendar that are self-care oriented and a steps challenge to help myself get walking again.
- Printed out Christmas Countdown Tags for my Iggle 25 Days of Cheer Swap.
I shred this list with my husband and he said it's alright to take a break. But I didn't want to take a break. I wanted to feel motivated to do anything! So I drank a little more RockStar.
- Watched more Critical Role: Campaign 2 - Episode 58.
- Cut out and hole-punched all the tags for the swap gift.
- Looked for some nice little trinkets to add to the swap box.
- Prepared lunch for my daughter.
- Cleaned up lunch for my daughter. (Seriously kid.....)
- Discussed a Board Game Advent Calendar for 2020.
- Spent time browsing Critical Role Shop and bought their newly released pajamas before they went out of stock!
- Worked on parsing down a list of over 60 board games to 31 for an Advent Calendar.
- Sorted 31 games into similar categories so the Advent Calendar will flow, then retyped the list on the computer.
- Got the mail.
- Returned the garbage and recycle bins to the garage.
- Tried on the two new pairs of pajama pants I got from Hot Topic (Luke's Diner & Ravenclaw).
- Wrote out a wedding card to some friends who got married during the pandemic.
- Worked on gathering all the pictures to make the game-a-day Advent Calendar for my husband.
- Worked on revising my Christmas/Birthday list on Amazon.
- Connected with a friend who was checking in with me.
- Started work on the digital daily game-a-day calendar.
- Talked to my mom about the handyman we're trying to get ahold of.
- Made dinner.