Day 2 of anxiety sleep issues. I'm falling hard asleep at 9PM and waking up at 4AM. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I found myself downstairs by 4:45AM and watching Riverdale.
Then I started to try to do some school work, because we will be returning to the classroom for school.
At some point I started to just spiral into sadness and I couldn't put my finger on what it was, specifically, or if it was one thing within my control. I think everything was finally catching up to me and I just broke down into tears. I was trying to think of things that would make me happy, but there is so much going on in my head that there was a great deal of vying for space in my head.
Finally, though, I asked Ray to color my hair purple and from there it was a wave of happiness. The hair isn't perfect, but it's purple and that's what matters. I kept admiring it all day and it just makes me happy to have my hair this color.
Then Ray let me get sushi from our local sushi place and it was like heaven in my mouth. I get the whole idea of comfort food and not using food as a comfort tool, BUT this was different. It was the experience of having sushi. Not just the food in my mouth. It was using the chopsticks and savoring the explosion of flavors and the smell of the ginger. It was a package deal and it made me feel good inside.
The Rock Star I started drinking also kicked in and I was awake. By the end of the day I had a couple and I felt amazing!
I stopped worrying about getting in my steps or eating Keto. Whatever to my alarm that says I should go walk on the treadmill. No worrying about not being able to eat something you're craving, because it doesn't kick in. I had been having a hardcore craving for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and I ate it! I didn't scarf it. I like to peel away the chocolate. There's a ritual to it.
My mom called and it was all happy and positive. She seemed to have energy and good talking points. It was good!
I put the Gilmore Girls on and that show really is just a good thing to have on in the background. Maybe no more idiot shows.
Then my package of shirts I ordered arrived and I was excited to share all the cool ones I got from TeeTurtle for my daughter and the ones I got for me. It was the Halloween ones that were 50% off two weeks ago. My daughter even decided her and I would wear this one matching shirt together tomorrow. AWE!
Today felt like one of those snow days that Lorelai talks about. Just good everywhere. My husband's Pepsi was even on sale!
The sad part, though, is that my husband just really wasn't up for playing D&D today and my daughter was kind of upset about it. But it was just Out of the Abyss and taking a break is fine. We'll do it tomorrow. It's alright!
So what a great day! Good times!
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